My boy

Pretty much everyone that reads my blog is aware of Christian's potty issue.  I know that one day he is going to read this entry and be upset with me for writing it, but I just don't ever want to forget it, so I'm blogging it.  This whole thing started out as a medical problem, chronic constipation, but now it really is just a confidence problem.  He just doesn't think he can do it, and this is how I know.

 We took his underwear away about six weeks ago and he can earn them back by staying clean all day.   That decision was really hard for me, but ultimately it has made the whole problem easier to deal with.  Of course, it's getting pretty dang hot lately and chaffing is happening.  He's walking around saddle soar with a pretty good rash.  One night he was very soar, and I told him it was happening because he wasn't staying dry, and that it would just continue to get worse over the summer.  He melted down, but this time to himself.  He was crying and talking to himself, basically beating himself up over not being like other kids.  I went into his room to check on him and he asked me to leave.  I closed the door but listened from the outside.  He was praying asking God to help him be like other kids and pay attention to his body.  When he came out of his room, I was still lingering pretending to busy myself in his bathroom, I asked him if he prayed, and he said yes.  When I tucked him into bed, he was still crying off and on.  I asked him if he believed that God would help him and he said yes.  I told him to just listen to his body, believe that he can do it, and make the right choice.  Then he said, but what if I have the ball?  You see, that is the problem right there.  He doesn't want to stop what he's doing and he waits so long that he has accidents.  I told him he either has to make the choice to wear a diaper or stop playing for a minute to take care of it.  It's simply a bad habit at this point, but I do think we are finally making some progress, but watching him struggle is really tough. 

We all have our own issues in our own lives, this is Christian's.   I sometimes think that he was sent to me to teach me lessons, one after another.  I have my own issues with my weight and sometimes I think I have a confidence issue also, thinking that I need a pill, weight loss surgery or specific diet plan, when really I just have a bad habit and I need to believe in myself, and make a better choice.  Sometimes I wish that the apple fell a little further from the tree.